WHAT I WISH I KNEW AS A FIRST-TIME MUM IN THE EARLY YEARS

What I Wish I Knew as a First-Time Mum in the Early Years

Looking back on my children’s early years, the signs were there, but I didn’t recognise them as red flags for challenges like dyslexia or a language disorder. I didn’t know, and I wish I did. Many of these signs appear well before children start school, and if noticed early, parents can take steps to support their child’s learning. This post is about acknowledging those red flags and encouraging parents to trust their instincts because you know your child better than anyone.

What frustrates me is that, unless you have a background in education or research, parents are not given the information about what to look out for or why certain skills are important. We’re often told, “They’ll catch up,” “He’s a busy boy,” “She’ll grow out of it,” or “Don’t worry, that’s normal.” Unfortunately, that kind of reassurance stops many parents, like me from taking early action. If we understood why these skills mattered, we’d be supporting them at home long before school started.

Looking back, there really was nowhere for parents like me to learn about these things. Even Plunket’s information was limited when it came to early signs of learning or language challenges. I only found Understood.org when Ben was seven,after years of being told, “It’s alright,” “He’s only three,” “He’s only four,” “He’ll catch up,” and “Don’t worry.”

By then, I’d had enough of being reassured when deep down I knew something wasn’t right. Finding Understood.org was a turning point—it finally gave me clear, evidence-based information that made sense and helped me understand what was happening.

Understood.org was one of the things, along with the training I later did, that completely changed how I viewed learning and development. It helped me connect the dots between what I’d seen with Ben and what I was learning about structured literacy, phonological awareness, and early red flags. For the first time, I could see the “why” behind his struggles—and that knowledge gave me the confidence to advocate for him.

Let Me Explain

When I look at Understood.org’s list of preschool signs of dyslexia, I can see so many that described Ben when he was little. According to Understood.org, some preschool signs of dyslexia include: – Mispronouncing words (e.g., saying “beddy tear” instead of “teddy bear”) – Struggling to name familiar objects and using general words like thing or stuff instead – Having a hard time learning nursery rhymes or songs that rhyme – Having trouble remembering sequences, like singing the letters of the alphabet – Telling stories that are hard to follow or having trouble talking about an event in a logical order – Having difficulty remembering and following directions with multiple steps – Difficulty recognizing letters or numbers – Trouble remembering the names of letters, numbers, or shapes – Avoiding activities that involve reading or writing

Here’s what some of these looked like in real life for us:

Mispronouncing words Everyone thinks it’s cute when young kids say funny versions of words. But when a child mispronounces lots of words or misses parts of them, it can signal phonological awareness difficulties, the foundation of reading and spelling.
Struggling to name familiar objects People told me this was normal, but most children can name everyday things unless they’re overtired. I remember the animal bath toys we had. I’d say, “Lion, roar!” or “Elephant, trumpet!” but Ben would often stay silent or guess wrong. The same thing happened with shapes or pictures in books.
Finding rhymes hard Ben loved listening to music and dancing, but he avoided singing nursery rhymes. He just couldn’t remember them. Later we learned he couldn’t hear rhyme at all.
Trouble remembering sequences The alphabet song was a big struggle. I’d get frustrated and think he wasn’t trying hard enough, especially when I saw other kids doing it easily. I wish I’d known that it wasn’t about effort — it was about his memory and how his brain was processing information at the time.
Telling stories out of order At preschool, if something happened, Ben couldn’t tell the story in order. He’d miss details or jumble things up, and that sometimes meant he got blamed for things he couldn’t explain clearly.
Forgetting multi-step directions Asking Ben to “get your bag, jacket, and shoes” was enough to cause tears — not because he was being difficult, but because he couldn’t hold that many steps in his working memory.
Letters and numbers It was very rare that Ben would sit with me and do anything. I spent a fortune on wooden letter and number puzzles and blocks, but he hated having to sit still. He loved being outside on his balance bike. Even when we practised letters and numbers at home, he couldn’t remember them from one day to the next. It was frustrating for both of us, and neither of us understood why.
Avoiding reading and writing Ben wouldn’t even allow me to read to him during the day. The only time he would let me was after his bath, when things were calm. His favourite books were Mrs Wishy Washy, The Yellow Digger, and Iggly Wiggly Pig. He always asked for these books, even though I had a box full of others. I know now it was because he had background knowledge of these stories—he knew what to expect, and that made them enjoyable. I also know now that he has ADHD, which played a huge part on top of his language difficulties. Drawing always ended in tears, so I gave up with the crayons and hoped preschool would cover it. When reading or writing came up, Ben would avoid it completely. I later realised it wasn’t laziness — it was self-protection. He was avoiding something that felt impossible.

Supporting Early Skills Through Play and Everyday Activities

Back when we were growing up, many of these early skills were naturally developed through everyday play. Grandparents were around more, parents often stayed at home, and there was far less technology. TV for under-fives was limited—maybe Play School or Sesame Street—and most play involved building blocks, wooden puzzles, make-believe games, and storybooks.

I remember having conversations with my mum about my concerns with Ben. She asked, “When you walk down the street with Ben in the buggy, are you talking with him? Pointing out things like, ‘Look at the green letterbox, it has the number 22 on it,’ or ‘Look at that lovely spotty dog playing over there’?”

I tried it, but I felt awkward. I wasn’t getting much back from Ben, and because I didn’t fully understand why this kind of interaction was so important, I stopped. The guilt I feel now is something I’ll always carry. By the time my second son came along, I knew so much more and felt much more confident as a mum. On walks with the boys, what should have taken 10 minutes would take 20 , as I pointed out and discussed everything we saw, from trees to cars to clouds, and I now understand how powerful that was for language and learning.

Even simple board and card games play a critical role in early learning. Games build patience, turn-taking, and communication skills, and they help children understand numbers, patterns, and problem-solving. Playing games also teaches patience, waiting your turn, that you don’t always win, and to be happy when your friend does.

Here is a small list of games to consider: –

Snap with playing cards – builds subitising, recognising numbers, and patterns.
Usborne Snap cards – come in a variety of topics, including space, robots, bugs, flowers, shapes, colours, and buildings, and help build vocabulary and communication skills.
A set of dice to roll to play “match the number” – roll another one to get the same number.
Connect Four – use it to make patterns.
Sequencing blocks in size.
Wooden pin puzzles – build vocabulary and fine motor skills. –
Duplo blocks – can be used for counting, colours, shapes, or just fun.
Play-Doh – rolling and squeezing builds fine motor and muscle skills in the hand.
Bouncing and throwing balls or beanbags – helps build balance and accuracy.

Apps and screens can be useful in moderation, but they don’t replace the benefits of real-world interaction. Drawing on a tablet doesn’t develop the fine motor skills and pincer grip that traditional drawing does. Watching a story isn’t the same as reading a story together — when you read aloud, you naturally ask questions, explain words, and discuss images, which builds vocabulary, oral language, and early literacy skills.

Even everyday interactions matter. Talking about what you see, pointing out letters, numbers, shapes, and patterns, or narrating simple tasks strengthens language and working memory. These small, consistent moments are what lay the foundation for reading, writing, and maths before children even start school.

A Message to Other Parents

I queried Ben’s development at ages 2 and 3 with the doctors, at age 4 during the preschool check, at age 5 at school, and again at age 7 with both the school and doctors. Because of the lack of knowledge, I was often made to feel like I was the problem, that I was worrying over nothing. I was told Ben was just a busy boy and would catch up. We had been declined assessments via the doctors three times. I finally went private, and we started to get some answers, but not always the solutions.

It has been a huge learning curve for me and my family. I wish I had had the time and knowledge to invest in advocating in the Early Learning area, because so much can be done in this space to support children in a fun and loving way and build the basic skills they need before starting school.

Trust your gut, you know your child better than anyone. If you’re worried, act on it. Early concerns are valid, and seeking information or support can make a real difference. Small, consistent interactions through play, reading, and everyday conversations build the skills children need for school and life.

Understanding how the brain learns gives even more importance to simple activities, talking, reading, and playing, because these moments build the skills children need for reading, writing, and learning later on. With this knowledge, children might even be identified and supported earlier. And even now, those same activities are still the best way to help children with dyslexia keep up with their peers. Reading together, playing games, and having conversations strengthen language, working memory, and early literacy skills every single day.

I know many ECE and preschool teachers are not taught about the research and science to a level of understanding the foundations of learning academics and how the brain learns. This is because many centres are still “child-led, ” but the reality is children don’t know what they need to learn, I believe it’s an adult’s job to know and teach it.

Don’t let comments like “He’s only three,” “She’ll catch up,” or “It’s alright” stop you from observing, asking questions, and taking action. Early understanding and support can boost not only learning but also your child’s confidence and enjoyment of learning.

Remember, every conversation, every game, every shared story matters more than you realise. The work you do in these early years lays the foundation for how your child sees themselves as a learner — and how much they believe they can succeed.

Training and other links to learn

Image is Ben Scurr Painting

Created by Sharon Scurr DEB founder 09 October 2025

Updated on 29 December 2025 by Sharon Scurr

WHAT I WISH I KNEW AS A FIRST-TIME MUM IN THE EARLY YEARS

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What I Wish I Knew as a First-Time Mum in the Early Years